when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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