So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
