I'm drive I can fine osifer
only if we run a train.
done.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
