Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
