I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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