Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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