dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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