I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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