She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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