my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
