More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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