I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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