i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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