fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
