You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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