glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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