lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
