I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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