So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize