3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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