I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
