Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
