Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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