the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
