how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
