we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
