i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
