what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize