What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
