ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
