Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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