Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
