I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
