Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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