Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
that may or may not have been my penis.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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