I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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