weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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