JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Randomize
