..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize