I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
