so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You have to summon your inner elephant
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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