just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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