don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
