i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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