they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
