We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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