Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
