You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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