Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
