there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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