You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
