he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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