That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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