God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I party with great urgency now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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