plz talk dirty to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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