Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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