You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
