Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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