My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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