I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
two words: eviction party
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize