Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize