I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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