yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
