That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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