So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
