i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
