She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
