somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
