There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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