You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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