lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
