I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
